Are You Caught in the Sleep Effort Trap? How Trying Harder to Sleep is Making it Worse

The pursuit of a good night’s sleep can often feel like a cruel paradox. The harder you try to fall asleep, the more elusive it becomes. This frustrating cycle is what I call the Sleep Effort Trap, and it is a common, yet often misunderstood, barrier to restorative sleep. If you find yourself clock-watching, mentally reviewing the day, or physically tensing up in bed, you are likely caught in this very trap.

The Sleep Effort Trap is rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding of how sleep works. Sleep is not an active process that you can force; it is a passive, biological process that you must allow. When you actively try to sleep, you engage your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for planning, problem-solving, and conscious effort. This is the exact opposite of the relaxed, quiet state your brain needs to transition into sleep.

The Vicious Cycle of Effort

This trap creates a vicious cycle:

1.         Anxiety Builds: You go to bed with the goal of “getting eight hours.”

2.         Effort Engages: When sleep doesn’t arrive immediately, you start trying—mentally counting, forcing your eyes shut, or running through relaxation techniques with intense focus.

3.         Arousal Increases: This effort is a form of performance anxiety. Your brain interprets the “need” to sleep as a high-stakes task, triggering a stress response. Cortisol levels rise, and your nervous system shifts into a state of alertness.

4.         Sleep Retreats: The state of alertness is incompatible with sleep, leading to wakefulness and frustration.

5.         Reinforcement: The failure to sleep reinforces the belief that you are “bad at sleeping,” increasing the anxiety and effort for the next night.

This cycle is a core component of psychophysiological insomnia, where the initial cause of poor sleep (e.g., a stressful event) is long gone, but the learned anxiety about sleep itself keeps the problem alive.

Escaping the Trap: The Power of Paradoxical Intention

The key to escaping the Sleep Effort Trap is to stop trying. This is known as paradoxical intention—doing the opposite of what you think you should do. Instead of trying to force sleep, you focus on simply resting and staying awake.

Here are three actionable steps, inspired by the principles in my book The Sleep Well Method, to help you disengage from the effort and allow sleep to happen:

1. Embrace the “Stay Awake” Mindset

When you get into bed, instead of thinking, “I must fall asleep,” try telling yourself, “I’m going to stay awake and just rest my body.” This simple shift in intention removes the performance pressure. Since you are no longer trying to achieve a goal, your brain has no reason to activate the stress response. Paradoxically, this non-effort often leads to sleep arriving much faster.

2. Implement the 20-Minute Rule

If you are awake for more than 20 minutes, or if you feel yourself becoming frustrated or anxious, you must get out of bed. Your bed should be a sanctuary for sleep and intimacy, not a battleground for wakefulness. Go to another room and engage in a quiet, non-stimulating activity—read a physical book (not on a screen), listen to quiet music, or practice gentle breathing. Only return to bed when you feel genuinely sleepy. This technique helps break the mental association between your bed and wakeful frustration.

3. Focus on Passive Sensory Input

Instead of engaging in active mental effort (like counting or problem-solving), shift your focus to passive, non-demanding sensory input. Notice the feeling of the sheets on your skin, the weight of your body on the mattress, or the sound of the fan. This is not a meditation technique that requires intense focus; it is simply a gentle redirection of attention away from the anxious thoughts and back to the present, neutral environment.

Your Path to Effortless Sleep

The Sleep Effort Trap is a powerful psychological barrier, but it is one that can be overcome by changing your relationship with sleep. By understanding that sleep is a process to be allowed, not a task to be completed, you can step off the frustrating treadmill of effort and anxiety.

To fully master the techniques of effortless sleep and build a sustainable, restorative sleep routine, we invite you to explore the comprehensive, evidence-based system detailed in my Sleep Well Method a holistic approach I developed involving coaching, hypnotherapy, CBT(I) techniques and mindset change.

Take the next step towards truly restful sleep contact us at Sleep Well Hub, and learn how to stop trying and start sleeping.

I’m Mark, the founder at Sleep Well Hub. For more information, please contact us at:

mark@SleepWellHub.co.uk or call 07939 557029 during office hours or book here.